I am assistant manager to a nice little store that does watch bands, batteries and repairs. We also have some nice watches for sale.


( So because you don't have instructions, this means I broke your printer, your computer, and your pastor.....(Cut for length) )

Customer calls in about not having instructions to her watch. She is very upset that I do not wave a magic wand to have instructions appear out of my ass. Due to this, I broke her printer, her computer and apparently her pastor....

Sorry for any grammar or spelling errors. Rage is clouding my head.

~C

This is my sisters kitten. His name is Merlin.


He is a big, dumb cutie.

Thanks for all the wonderful help with my recent question regarding commode odours. Got some great ideas!

Now for the next question...
I had an emergency laraproscopy about 8 weeks ago, and my belly button has been totally restructured due to the surgery.
It is TINY now.
I can't fit my little finger in there, and I can't fit a cotton bud in there!
How on earth do I clean it out properly?
I've been trying, but due to back / neck problems, I can't lean over enough to see into it too well, and I can't get into a position in front of a mirror in the house, to see close enough (I'm so short sighted it's unreal and I'm having odd visual issues at the moment), and I'm having so much trouble trying to make sure it's cleaned out.
It's a bit sore, and I'm worried it might be getting a bit manky because I can't get to clean it properly.

There must be a way, because babies have tiny belly buttons... though mine is more of a really tiny tunnel now, whereas a baby's belly button tends to just be fairly open, even though it's small.

Any ideas?

Thanks in advance, and happy new year all!

Hi everyone,

I'm wondering if any of you have tested Pibella? I'm considering buying one, as I'll be spending part of my vacation camping and generally run across filthy toilet seats quite often, especially in trains. Eek.

I thought that because some of us are into using environmentally friendly things (this Pibella seems more so than a plastic/paper bag which is disposed of after usage), maybe someone might've tried it?
And it just seems so brilliant that I really want to try it, lol.

The link is here http://www.pibella.com/47622/47664.html (mods: if I'm not allowed to post it, sorry - just remove it then. Thanks!)

Thanks and Happy New Year!!!

I work for an timeshare exchange company, and I get all sorts of people. Some nice, some strange, some have actually told me to die. No lies. Of course, I have had some super job stress over the past week or two due to my own health-related issues that have made the stupid seem SO MUCH MORE STUPID.

The two days before *insert holiday* is bad enough, especially when asking for a really hard to get into spot... Manhattan, Hawaii, whatever. Two days before New Years? Thanksgiving? Christmas? It's to the point where, after I have checked for 10 people, the rest are on hold for a minute or a half a minute while I sit and wait for them to think I'm checking, and come back to tell them what I already know- there's nothing unless you want to pay a few thousand dollars.

I get stupid people... stupid people that make daytime televison look bad. "This is Cat with *Company*, could I get your ID number?" "WHO THAT IS!?" Who. That. Is. I shit you not. Who that is.

Not to mention rattling off everything in one breath before I can get your account up, breathing/chewing/coughing/belching in my ear, talking so slowly that I can hold a conversation with co workers between the numbers you list, and ranting about how much you hate my ripoff company (not mine, guy, I haven't even been here a year, so I really don't care).

But today I had a real gem. Most of my customers are American, and often recognize that I am Canadian, or at least, not American, somehow. Today I had what sounded like a young man... he asked me where I was. I said I'm in Eastern Canada. Oh, here come the questions. How cold is it, I always expect. Do you really say 'eh', I get alot! But this one... this one took the cake.

Do you have New Year's in Canada?

I wanted to answer no, that we did not, and we were at Year ONE since year one was invented. Maybe I could have said that yes, we did, but Stephen Harper took it away as soon as he came into office. No. No. I just said "Yes, we do". I shouldn't have. The next question almost made me set my headset down and walk away in dissapointment for the human race.

When is it?

Now, lets set aside Chinese New Year and other great cultural traditions for a moment, and think. Canada, despite what you think, is NOT that much different from America. There are differences, lots of them. But when it comes right down to it, to talk to an average Canadian, and an average American, you probably wouldn't tell the difference, if neither had a specific reigonal accent. So, in what world, in what fathomable stretch of the imagination, did this man pull this question from. When. Is New Years. In Canada.

This does come from the same customer base which "No, Montreal is a state next to Niagra Falls" came from, so I shouldn't really be surprised.

Another story, less stupid, more aggrivating, is as follows...

A customer calls up, gives me his ID number, I verify him. He then begins to tell me about how he knows where and when he wants to go (great!), but that it is with a rival company (what.). He then explains that, he wanted one of our agents to do a search for him on a certain area. His account was in arrears, so he was charged a $125 fee to get his account up to date (which is, by the way, the yearly fee that everyone pays, no more no less), and was unhappy to find that we could not find anything for him- not that nothing was available, but he did not want to chose from our (member driven) inventory. He tells me he is going to book with the rival company, and would like a refund.

What.

I clarify... "Sir... you did not want any of our vast inventory in Cancun... you found something extremely cheap at a competitor and decided to purchase it. You now want a refund on your non refundable one year renewal to pay for that?" Yep. Exactly what he wants. "Sir, we don't even refund one year renewals when an account is cancelled by a member, so unfortunately, I will be unable to refund your money, even if you were to cancel your account." Wait, he [previous agent] never told me I could cancel my account when I spoke with him! Wait. What. What. WHAT? I clarify again. Yep. That's what I heard.

"Sir... let me put it this way for you. "Hi, thanks for calling *COMPANY*, how can I help you! Oh, I want to go to Florida! Glad to hear it, but first, would you like to cancel your account?" Does that make sense to you, sir, from a business perspective?"

He then dove into some bizzare shoe analogy- that if you bought a shoe that did not fit, you returned it to the store for a full refund. I bit my tongue from asking why he would buy a single shoe that did not fit in the first place. Bit till I bled.

I work on the floor staff of a movie theater, meaning I clean up the theaters in between showings. Well, last night it was me and one other girl cleaning huge (some of our theaters seat like 450 people) sold-out theaters. Anyway, my coworker and I go into one of these huge, messy theaters and start cleaning, which can take 5-10 minutes considering the fact that it was only the two of us.

So we're about a quarter through the theater and this crowd of people suddenly comes in and bolt for the top row. My coworker smoothly asks if they were here for the next showing (they were) and then politely asks if they could please wait OUTSIDE the theater while we cleaned.

A few people just kind of look at her like they're confused, so I jump in and explain that because of liability only employees are allowed in the theaters when they're being cleaned. They say "oh, okay" and then start to walk back down the stairs.

Unfortunately, they must have interpreted "please wait a few minutes" as "sit on the bottom rows on top of trash that we cannot clean because your ass is in the way."

What, are you afraid someone's gonna take your seat if you're not the FIRST GODDAMN PERSON in the theater? e_e

( Cheeky... )

I wish all of you a very happy, healthy New Year.

Corset available in 7 colors in my etsy shop.

Model: Mosh
Photographer: Beguiling Images

I was at a restaurant tonight picking up food to go. This restaurant is extremely popular (one of the best in my town) as it has excellent chinese food. As you can imagine, on New Years Eve the wait time for a table is often around two hours; I had to order my food yesterday because they get so backed up they stop taking orders around noon today. They also don't do reservations on New Years; it's a first come first serve type thing. Anyway, you'd think, knowing how popular this place is, people are going to realize that there is going to be a massive wait and you might just be better off going somewhere else. Not so much.

Enter a woman (C) with what is presumably her husband and three children. She goes up to the desk where I am waiting to receive my food. It's about eight o'clock. One of the hostesses (H) looks up and greets her with a smile.

H: Hi, welcome to [name of crazy popular restaurant]. How can I help you?
C: Yeah, I need a table for four.
H: Well, we can add your name to our waiting list, but unfortunately the wait is estimated to be around two hours -
C: TWO HOURS? (note, she literally screamed this. It was such a swift attitude change it was bizarre)
H: *looking a bit shocked* Yes, ma'am.
C: I CAN'T WAIT TWO HOURS! Why are you so busy?
H: .... Um, it's New Years Eve. This is our busiest night of the year.
C: This is ridiculous. RIDICULOUS. I have children you know!
H: I realize that, but unfortunately there is nothing we can do.
C: But I have children!
H: Would you like to add your name to the waiting list, ma'am?
C: I HAVE CHILDREN. I can't believe you would make three children wait for their dinner!
H: I'm not sure what to tell you. I'm sorry.
C: This is fucking ridiculous. You wouldn't let me make a reservation and now I have to wait?
H: Well, we don't do reservations on -
C: FUCKING FORGET IT. THIS IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS.

And then she stormed out, leaving the hostess, me, and the other people going "bwuh?" I mean, come on lady. It's New Years Eve. How could that not compute into a lengthy wait time?

Bonus suck: While we were at the grocery store today, the lines for the check-outs were extremely long. One of the cashiers from the floral department was handing out complimentary chocolates. Creepy Dude, it is NOT OKAY to look very pointedly at this girl's breasts and go "How about you give me a different kind of treat?" And then when she stops and gives you a horrified, did-you-just-say-that look, reaching your hand into the container and "accidentally on purpose" hitting her in the boob when you yank your hand out is way over the line. He then walked out, and I'm guessing the girl went to go hide, because on my way out I saw they had a guy doing it instead.

Edited for typo

Summary: Tennant hands over the keys of the TARDIS to Mr Smith...

Over here at my lj:  http://sparringett.livejournal.com/9254.html

Happy New New Year everyone!

With less than a day to go, there's my theory.

( Spoilers for EoT Part 1, EoT Part 2 trailer, EoT preview clips from BBC Breakfast, and all other Doctor Who, past and present, classic and new )

4 Doctor Who wallpapers - The Master


HERE @ lilyrosebloom 

[1-6] Doctor Who
[7-15] Monty Python's Flying Circus
[16-24] Flight of the Conchords
[25-36] On the Edge
[37-42] Miscellaneous Pauls (Rudd, McCartney, Simon)

Visual aid:



Available HERE @ instantfoods!

So since my love is doomed to spend all night at work I am ringing in the New Year with a glass of wine and the Burn Notice marathon. I however, decided that this was also the ample time to search etsy for anything worthy of being hung up in my new apartment. I have gone through 80 pages yet still have not come across anything I cannot live without. I have found some art that makes me want to shudder and hide for fear. So I shall now share with you!


http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=37616889&ref=cat1_gallery_18
So, what's with the lobster?

( follow the jesus lover with the lobster )

Dear Whoever You Are,

We are not a medical facility.  We are a shack that serves cheese- and tomato sauce-covered dough.  That said, I am not sure why you felt it appropriate to dispose of your USED DRUG NEEDLE in our ashtray.  Really?  I am not, stranger, insinuating that you are an addict.  I realize that you could quite possibly be diabetic or have some other illness requiring frequent self-injections.  HOWEVER, a responsible person would still endeavor to properly dispose of his or her sharps (or at the very least, put the freakin' cap back on before you chuck it somewhere!).  If you should feel the urge to stick yourself on our premises in the future, please keep your biohazards to yourself.  The poor soul who has to clean the parking lot (yours truly) is rather afraid of other people's bodily fluids and the pathogens they may carry, so give her a break, hmm?

Sincerely,
The Delivery Girl

P.S.  The box of condoms you left behind, while not as startling, was also unnecessary.  There was a trash can 20 feet away.

Just wanted to pass this along:

ASPCA's Memorable Adoption Stories of 2009
(click on each animal's name next to their picture to get more of their story)

I feel like I hear too many sad, horrible stories of animal abuse and neglect, so sometimes I go looking for the happy stuff and this happened to wind up in my email inbox today. :)